Mind your manners

Some call it etiquette, some call it manners. To me it really a whole lot of common sense. The purpose of manners is to put in place “rules” so that everyone is comfortable and life is agreeable for all. It’s a code that governs the expectations of social behavior. A recent talk on this topic got me started doing some simple research on the net. Most importantly I wanted to confirm that I’m not some weird freak that have made all this up myself and that there are some other homo sapiens out there that shares the same sentiments on this topic. Conclusion? I’m glad to find out that there is actually whole lot of references and books (you’ll have to purchase those though) that actually lists out what society expects of us, several of those I wasn’t aware of as well.

I found out that manners are segregated into several categories i.e.: Basic manners, table manners, business etiquette, Internet etiquette (Netiquette), work etiquette, sports etiquette, toilet etiquette, etc. The appropriate manners/etiquette may differ in each culture or location. Below is the list of manners/etiquettes I found from my little research (I'm only focusing on basic and table manners because there's just too many to list out). Do a little checklist and see how many you are guilty of :D.

To put the record straight, I didn't create any of the lists below. Those are exact words copied from the sites that I found. (Italized wordings are my additional comments)

Basic manners

• Cover your mouth when yawning – nobody is interested see look at your teeth fillings
• Do not interrupt other people when they are speaking – Do not hog the conversation. If you really have to, apologize for the interruption first.
• No name calling
• Always greet someone when they come over to your house
• Clean up after yourself
• Good sportsmanship – This is what people actually mean when they say "sporting abit lar"
• Exiting/Entering etiquette (Elevators, doors, etc)– don’t lar walk and leave the door slamming at the next person.
• Say “please” and “thank you” often
• No matter how quiet you do it, you do not fart when you are in the company of others. – you’ll never know when you come out with a smelly fart right?
• Keep your voice down
• Take compliments courteously
• Do not pick your nose - "gold mining" activities are better left private
  

Basic table manners

• Chew with your mouth closed. – Believe me, partly chewed food + saliva is an ugly sight/sound.
• Do not slurp loudly. – the sound is disgusting
  
• Do not talk with your mouth full – The same reason as #1 and it’s annoying because nobody will be able to make out what you are saying.
• Always use your napkin – use your napkin before drinking from the glass so that the oil around your mouth will not leave a stain on the hostess’s glass.
• Do not lick your fingers – KFC’s tagline is just a marketing gimmick!
• Do not blow your nose at the table – Imagine eating wonton soup and someone starts to blow their nose. The same applies to clearing the phlegm in your throat (kahhkkpui). It makes people lose their appetite.
• Keep bites small – It will make you look like a true glutton
• Don’t wave utensils in the air
• Keep your elbows off the table
• Do not pick off someone else’s plate
• Do not reach over someone else
• Always say “Please” and “thank you”
• Do not burp loudly and draw undue negative attention – That’s not a good way of letting people know others what you have eaten
• Don’t eat the last of something without asking if someone else wants it first.
• Please don’t fart (or belch) at the table - It’s just so very, fundamentally wrong.
• Do not pick your teeth at the table
• The totally unnecessary rapid clinking of your spoon as you stir your coffee is the culinary equivalent of repeatedly clicking your pen in an exam. You may be okay with it, but it’s ruining someone else’s experience. It is possible to stir your coffee without making such a highly irritating noise. Same thing goes for obsessive dish scraping
• Thank the hostess for an excellent meal
• Ladies: no applying makeup or looking in your compact mirror. That’s what the ladies room is for
• Do not lift the corner of your soup plate to get the last drops
• Don’t bring your face toward the plate when you eat
• Don’t slouch at table - I'm so guilty of this!
  
• Don’t lick the plate or utensils
• Don’t sit and start eating until everyone is pretty much seated - unless it a buffet meal
• Don’t play with your utensils/plates
  
• Don’t bang your soup spoon in the soup plate, or against your teeth
• Don’t pick at your food
• Don’t make little castles with you mashed potatoes, or count your peas, etc.
• Don’t put junk on your table, like purse, false teeth, etc.

I think most of us will be guilty of some of the items above, one time or another. Do make it a point to take note of the many ways we could have “offended” someone without realizing it and change our ways. Hopefully you find this posting useful.