Letting go...
Just the other day I was reading the forecast for my zodiac sign. It mentioned that not all friends are meant to be friends with us forever. Instead of being heartache trying to re-connect with people that do not wish to get acquainted again, I should just let them go. This is a sound advice.
But letting go sometimes is difficult. I don’t know what has gone into me lately, but I seem to be trying to “find back” those friends I used to have probably with the hope of finding back those beautiful memories we had together.
I never had this problem before, well at least during uni days. I fully understand that friends are like passing clouds. They come and go. Sometimes they bring sunshine and sometimes they bring rain. I fully understand that different phase of you life comes with different friends. Friends forever? Nah… I do not believe in that anymore. So why am I suddenly trying to contact old friends with the hope that we could still connect as well as what we were last time. Some of them were nicer but there are also some who responded coldly. After that I feel so sad. I keep telling myself those who are meant to be would be. Something is very wrong with me. . Probably this is what they call the middle age crisis!! (now? ). You suddenly realize that you are not that young anymore and thus trying to make yourself believe that you are still young by finding back old memories. Living in a self-delusion world.
As I type this, I am analyzing how come things turned out this way. Probably I have been away from people for too long. Spending every day of my life in my little “office” facing the 4 walls and my pc, eating lunch alone in a quiet apartment with the occasional sound of my processing CPU protesting the multi-tasking load it is forced to do. My daily perk is waiting for Harbi to come home from work. Even uni friends have their own life now, some married, some busy with their careers.. everyone is too busy to keep in contact. Hardly receive any calls or even sms now. It somehow made life depressing. I need to go out to the world and get in contact with human touch. I need to smell, see and embrace the world outside my window to keep myself sane. I need to let go…
But letting go sometimes is difficult. I don’t know what has gone into me lately, but I seem to be trying to “find back” those friends I used to have probably with the hope of finding back those beautiful memories we had together.
I never had this problem before, well at least during uni days. I fully understand that friends are like passing clouds. They come and go. Sometimes they bring sunshine and sometimes they bring rain. I fully understand that different phase of you life comes with different friends. Friends forever? Nah… I do not believe in that anymore. So why am I suddenly trying to contact old friends with the hope that we could still connect as well as what we were last time. Some of them were nicer but there are also some who responded coldly. After that I feel so sad. I keep telling myself those who are meant to be would be. Something is very wrong with me. . Probably this is what they call the middle age crisis!! (now? ). You suddenly realize that you are not that young anymore and thus trying to make yourself believe that you are still young by finding back old memories. Living in a self-delusion world.
As I type this, I am analyzing how come things turned out this way. Probably I have been away from people for too long. Spending every day of my life in my little “office” facing the 4 walls and my pc, eating lunch alone in a quiet apartment with the occasional sound of my processing CPU protesting the multi-tasking load it is forced to do. My daily perk is waiting for Harbi to come home from work. Even uni friends have their own life now, some married, some busy with their careers.. everyone is too busy to keep in contact. Hardly receive any calls or even sms now. It somehow made life depressing. I need to go out to the world and get in contact with human touch. I need to smell, see and embrace the world outside my window to keep myself sane. I need to let go…
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